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We rationalize situations, even the unbearable ones, to justify staying together. Close friends of Jennifer, Laura, Melissa and Katie push for an end to the relationship.

Perhaps the relationship can be saved with some effort. "These guys are bad news," they say, "so get out." But each of the women justifies their partner's actions.

Does he tell you that you'll never be able to find someone else? If he's unwilling to seek professional help and stay straight, your situation will not improve until you pack up and go. But if he needs to constantly work them out with new-found friends instead of you, it may not be the right relationship for either of you. A relationship involves two people, each with his or her own voice. You suspect your partner has very real psychological or psychiatric problems and represents a possible threat to himself, you or others.

If the two of you click, the relationship builds and secrets are shared and affection grows.

Maybe it's love or maybe it's passion, but after such intimacy, it's very difficult to break things off when the relationship takes a downturn.

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That means no slapping, beating or physical intimidation. All partners, regardless of their sex, should support the one they love.Women are the most frequent targets by far: Every nine seconds a woman in the United States is being physically hurt by her husband or boyfriend. Everyone has a set of boundaries of acceptable behavior. If the person you care about the most doesn't believe in you, you'll have a hard time believing in yourself.If our relationships were neat little streets, it would be easy to recognize a dead end.More often, though, we move from stage to stage, engaging then disengaging, ever hopeful that we can make it work.

Statistics show that if it happens once, it will probably happen again. Has he done something that you can never forgive or forget? If he has stepped so far over those boundaries that it has threatened your relationship, you can't stay with him. It's wrong when your husband or boyfriend refuses to give up dating despite your committed relationship. In a time when AIDS is the world's fastest-spreading epidemic, infidelity can be life-threatening. Do you feel as if you're walking in a minefield and you don't know what will set him off? People who lack self-confidence assert themselves by controlling the lives of others.

He may not be physically abusing you, but mental and emotional abuse can be as damaging. Each day, 3,000 women are infected with HIV and 500 women die of AIDS. He has an obvious problem if he consistently uses drugs or alcohol, gambles more than he can afford to lose or takes too many risks. The two of you should be able to work out problems together. They take command of every aspect of you-from what you wear and eat to how you act in public and raise your children.

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