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I have had many clients and subscribers express their utter dismay and confusion, asking how this person could be a narcissist when they have the ability to be then act out, devalue, discard and use malicious emotional abuse at other times – in amongst being so wonderful?


Do you remember being a child and playing the game with a daisy, picking the petals, “He loves me, he loves me not?

Many of you know that Sam Vaknin is a very good source of deeply understanding the workings of a narcissist’s mind, and has written copious amounts of information regarding narcissism. Vaknin, “Some narcissists are ostentatiously generous – they donate to charity, lavish gifts on their closest, abundantly provide for their nearest and dearest, and, in general, are open-handed and unstintingly benevolent.

How can this be reconciled with the pronounced lack of empathy and with the pernicious self-preoccupation that is so typical of narcissists?

Understandably new partners may perceive that tif that is the case.

For those of you who are seriously confused about whether or not your partner is in fact narcissistic, because he or she can be so wonderful, I sincerely hope this article will help you clear up your confusion.

The act of giving enhances the narcissist’s sense of omnipotence, his fantastic grandiosity, and the contempt he holds for others.


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