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Do men really fantasise about sex with the septuagenarian chef, Mary Berry?

Hard to say, but what is beyond doubt is that this story – and with it all of the names and photos of celebrities men would apparently most like to sleep with – is nothing more than an advert for a niche ‘dating’ site: hugs and cuddles and strolls on the beach BUT HEAVEN HELP YOU IF YOU SUGGEST THERE IS SEX INVOLVED.

As for what Toyboy Warehouse made of Mary Berry topping the list they paid for her to be the top of, here’s the obligatory spokesperson expressing the obligatory surprise at this obligatorily shocking but almost-certainly pre-planned result: Owner Mike Bandar said: ‘We definitely weren’t expecting Berry to win the top spot but why shouldn’t she? ‘The Cougar is massive at the moment, the idea that older women want to date a young toyboy is accepted and even encouraged.

‘Women such as Carol Vorderman, Davina Mc Call and Delia Smith are seen as sexy, intelligent and desirable to men half their age Is ‘the cougar’ really massive at the moment?

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That’s as likely to be true as the notion that Mary Berry was added to the pre-written list of options for ‘most popular older fantasy’ without any intention for her to come top of the list in a story that was scheduled to launch right at the time of the latest series of the Great British Bake Off going to air.

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The 80-year-old led the list with Davina Mc Call, 47, coming second, Carol Vorderman, 54, third and celebrity chef Nigella Lawson, 55, in fourth place.

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