"Many men have openly shared with me that they'd love to 'make a marriage right this time.'" Andrea, 47, who met her husband on Christian Mingle.com, experienced this phenomenon first-hand."Our previous marriages and subsequent divorces taught us what's important to fight for and how not to sweat the small stuff," she says.5. "Many marriages fail because men didn't realize that they wanted a woman with certain traits the first time around," says relationship expert April Masini,author of "Now they do, and you benefit from a man who's clear on this."Divorcés' straightforwardness can save you a lot of dating guesswork, adds clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, Ph D."They may be more upfront about their limitations and strengths resulting in less game-playing and time wasted in relationships that won't work."6. Consummating a marriage gives divorced guys a leg up on pure bachelors in the bedroom.That's why, Iris, 62, who met her previously married husband on JDate, sees "being divorced as a strength…if the man has learned about himself and is able to embrace change," she says.2. Joining lives can go more smoothly with someone who's done so with someone else."Divorced men have experience sharing finances, a home and schedules. Talking about the future doesn't prompt most divorced guys to run for the hills the way it might lifelong older bachelors.We asked experts—and women who've dated (and even married!) divorcés—to explain the many upsides to seeing a formerly married man.1. As a marriage unravels, "wives are pretty verbal about what they perceive their husbands did wrong," whether it be too much time at the office or being an awful communicator, says marriage and family therapist Rachel Sussman.With any luck, "his ex taught him about the female body, what it takes to get a woman interested and how to give her an orgasm," he says.7. If he imagined post-wedding life to be perfect before he was divorced, he knows better now.
These men "tend to be more patient, less self-centered and more inspired to please a woman." Dating expert Scott Carroll, MD, who's a formerly divorced, now married man, agrees.These can be great perks," says licensed psychotherapist Tina B. They're also more "willing to share their feelings and tackle the tough topics," says relationship expert Lori Bizzoco, founder of Cupids "Men who are divorced enjoy companionship that they were familiar with having been married before," says La Pronda, 43, who's dated both never-married and divorced men."They don't shy away from a conversation about relationships, marriage, love and intimacy." Adds Bizzoco, "Even though his previous marriage didn't work out, dating shows he's willing to open himself up to love and that he's interested in something serious again."4. Men naturally want to "fix" things and problem solve, life coach and dating expert Brooke Lewis points out, which can translate into a post-divorce desire for a successful new relationship.Many daters associate divorced people with excess baggage.
While there can be some red flags (like if his relationship ended because he was unfaithful), people who've been through a divorce tend to have a deeper, more realistic perspective on marriage than those haven't.Tessina says, noting that she andher husband had both gone through splits when they married 32 years ago.