I've made up for all of the years of inexperience in the dating pool, earning a rap sheet full of mistakes and heartbreaks.I still don't understand the game of love, but I do understand my needs as a woman and mother.We are responsible for their well-being and daily survival.Hidden under the layers of responsibility lie our own needs, which resurface as we disengage from our identity as a married woman.Some of which, I believe, are universal to single mothers in my age bracket. I spent the entire decade of my 20s hibernating in the cave of accelerated adulthood -- planning a wedding, building a home, getting pregnant, having miscarriages, getting pregnant again, breastfeeding, home making and child-rearing.
She's only known the security of married life -- all in and completely devoted.
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We are connected, interwoven with the lives of our children.
A woman with children can't, nor could she even if she wanted to be. Daily life is planned out because children need consistency and boundaries, and she needs to maintain her sanity. Call her regularly, even if it's just to tell her you are thinking about her. When you acknowledge her circumstance, it shows her you care.
Recently, several of my freshly divorced friends have confided in me about their struggles.They share the same feelings (as I did and do) of excitement, trepidation, anxiety, confusion and fear over their newborn single status.