After a video was released showing Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice punching his then-fiancée, now-wife Janay Palmer so hard that he knocked her unconscious, victims of domestic abuse took to Twitter to explain why Palmer still decided to become Mrs. Some on Twitter shared their own experiences with the hashtag #Why IStayed.
Experts say that the limitations of leaving can be both psychological and physical. “People wind up blaming themselves for the abusive behavior of their partners,” says Craig Malkin, a clinical psychologist at Harvard Medical School.“For some who don’t understand domestic violence it may be hard [to remember Palmer is the victim],” Glenn says.“They convince themselves if they approach the person differently, maybe they won’t be abused.” Malkin likened a relationship with an abusive partner to gambling addiction: “The person being abused is focused on the positive and waiting for the next positive.There’s a psychological effect like gambling: the moments of tenderness and intimacy are unpredictable, but they are so intense and fulfilling that the victim winds up staying in the hopes that a moment like that will happen again.” “Eventually there’s sort of this wearing down for people on the receiving end of the abuse where they continue to tolerate more and over time feel less entitled to safety,” he concludes.
Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is!
” Janay Rice, wife of Ravens running back Ray Rice, made a statement to the news media May 5, 2014, at the Under Armour Performance Center in Owings Mills, Md, regarding his assault charge for knocking her unconscious in a New Jersey casino Some criticized the statement, while others expressed their sympathy. But Ruth Glenn, the executive director of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, urges people to withhold judgment when questioning why Janay Rice stayed.