At the age of twenty when I first had my injury, like most men I was very concerned about my sex life.
I had been dating someone for a couple of years and it was an important part of our relationship.
Even people in close long-term relationships can find it difficult to express what feels right. Did you ever meet someone and after a few minutes you feel like you’ve known them for most of your life? For most women, they understand that a guy is going to be satisfied with sex good, bad or indifferent. The hardest thing to do is explain how she can satisfy me.
It does bring a very important part of a relationship to the surface early on and its not the act of the physical relationship. My body has taken on a whole new set of pleasure zones and its different with different people.
I’m no Dirk Diggler but I still fantasize, crave and physically desire a sexual relationship.
The same goes for church too so don’t be too quick to suggest a different setting.
The biggest challenge is not whether you can have intercourse or you can’t.Its more along the lines of finding someone open enough to share both emotionally and physically.Having Bob Dole as a spokes person for Erectile Dysfunction (ED) didn’t really help.If Tom Cruse, Mel Gibson or Brad Pitt had been the spokes person, every straight woman on the planet would be giving out Viagra for Halloween and all of the other Hallmark holidays.
If you have both aspects, then try and see what works for the both of you. But adding the issues of a spinal cord injury and how your body reacts, what feels good and simply not knowing can make it much harder. We’ve all heard the speech on communication and learn to be open, just talk about it.
Its not much different than the rest of the population. Well, after a few beers in a crowded bar with loud music playing, I say bullshit.