Yeah, I know, the children of the man I love don’t want me around, which makes said man feel guilty and stretched in too many directions, in turn causing fear and insecurity for us both.
Tell me one more time that it’s not personal, I dare you. His kids dislike you only as a concept, not as a person—they’re looking for that same safety and stability we all are, and you just happen to be the embodiment of all that threatens that.
That clear and simple explanation cracked everything wide open for me. Even though I already knew that, it hit me in a new way when my friend explained it. Chances are, no matter where he is, he feels like he’s letting someone down, and between the two factions in his life, you are (supposedly) the grown-up. Sometimes when parenting duties push me off the docket, I can see in his eyes how torn up he feels—how much he hates disappointing me but has no choice.My relationship with a divorced father of three has been one of the most grueling, difficult, maddening, fulfilling, self-revealing things I’ve ever done, and it has taken me a boatload of wrong moves and bad fights to find my way.If you’re dating a single dad, these 10 guidelines can help you avoid my mistakes.Kids have an instinct for sniffing out bullshit, and if you try too hard, they’ll take a magnifying glass to whatever warts they’ve already decided you have.
This process is going to take exactly as much time as it will take, and not a moment less. You love this person, and you want to be a part of the good things in his life, and sometimes you feel crappy when you’re not.When I am my better self and I see that look in his eyes, I give him a kiss, tell him I love him, and go on my way.