Maybe a little more of an effort to talk on the phone to the person you are dating would be appreciated. Jackie Pilossoph is the author of the blog, Divorced Girl Smiling.She is also the author of the comedic novel, FREE GIFT WITH PURCHASEabout life after divorce. Pilossoph is a weekly business features reporter for the Pioneer Press, with the monthly column, "Heart of the North Shore." She lives in Chicago with her two kids.In that regard, Will's use of electronics was the perfect match for my single mom lifestyle. Not only are they giving their honest reactions without having as much time as they need to think carefully about their next response, but when you hear someone's voice, there's a much more three dimensional discussion going on.But I have to be honest, there really was something that felt impersonal about dating someone and communicating only via electronic methods. HOW they say something, the way they laugh, or their passion on a certain topic is how you really get to know what's in their heart. It's a huge time saver, it's succinct, it can be really sexy.I dated Will for about four months, and during that time, I don't think we ever spoke on the phone. Every date was arranged via text, and when he just wanted to reach out to say hi, see how my day was, or say something really cute, he would send one, causing my knees to buckle and my heart to pound furiously. At least now, if you meet a guy and he doesn't call you, you know right away because you have your cell phone attached to your body at all times!When Will wanted to tell me something longer in nature, perhaps a funny story or a date suggestion, his message was sent to me in an email (with links to potential restaurants and other date places.) I guess that's how his generation does things in the dating arena. The other thing was, if you were dating a guy, he would call you every night and the two of you would spend hours on the phone, just getting to know each other and never wanting to hang up. You really got a feel for the guy, and he didn't have time to think of a clever response via text.On the other hand, there's nothing better than to get a phone call from your guy, hear that voice you adore, and reap the benefit of hearing the laugh that lights you up like a Christmas tree coming from the other end of the phone.
The funny thing is, one of the common statements I saw on dating sites, and heard in person when I was on the market was some variation of "I'm just looking for someone that doesn't play games, ya know?
Gauging the others interest by how long it takes for them to call or text. A month later I finally just came out and asked her if I was crazy in thinking we had hit it off. The truth is, most of the time, when you withhold attention it makes the girl you're interested in think about you more.
I started to reflect on my pre-marital dating days, which date back to 1999 and earlier. I can remember times when I'd get home from work and check my home answering machine (there wasn't even voice mail in the earlier years! He had to think on the spot and answer questions in an open, honest way.
), so excited to find out if my new man had left a message. A lot of divorced people have kids, so who is going to sit and talk to their new guy on the phone? But I have to say, part of me misses those long, meaningless conversations late at night, both sitting there not having anything to say but not wanting to get off the phone. In a real conversation, one that doesn't involve emoticons, like smiley faces, hearts and tear drops, and chat acronyms like LOL, 2NTE, H&K, or KOTL (kiss on the lips), men and women are so much more authentic.
Plus, it's nice to have written things saved if it's a text that means something to you.
You can look at the text when you are feeling down and it could bring you a smile and warm your heart.