The other day, at a Fashion Week party, my friend Alan and I stood against a wall, scanning the room for hot people, as you do.
“It’s weird,” he said contemplatively, staring into a sea of models.
“Lately, in order to want to sleep with someone, I actually have to them as a person.” He said this as if it were a mind-blowing revelation.
I told him that, at 31, the realization was probably a bit overdue, but I knew what he meant: As one gets older, it becomes harder and harder to be attracted to someone simply because of the way they look.
And while I’m drawn to extremely beautiful people, I more often want to just stare at them or hang an oil painting of them on my wall rather than lie on top of them nude.
But I’ve also wondered if, deep down, I’m just intimidated by the idea of dating someone hotter than me.
Is it because, with age, we care more about a relationship’s potential longevity, rather than just instant sexual gratification?
If you’ve ever had someone look at you during sex with this completely euphoric expression, like, “I ,” you understand that “dating down” in terms of attractiveness can be a confidence boost in its own right.My friend Millie Brown, a performance artist widely known as the “vomit artist,” has a lot of experience with dating freakishly attractive men.Millie and I lived together during our early and mid-twenties, and at the time, it felt like every other week she had a new model boyfriend.Or, more simply, have we just realized that dating freakishly beautiful people isn’t all it’s cracked up to be?
A female friend once told me, “It’s always best to date attractive men, but not attractive that everyone’s constantly trying to jump on their dick, because that’s just stressful.” The sentiment actually made a lot of sense to me.“It wasn’t that I was specifically attracted to ,” Millie clarified recently.