We are all motivated to seek out rewards and avoid punishments (Skinner, 1974).
When rewards outweigh punishment, people perform behaviors.
Socially, they are expected to be "compliant" (i.e. However, they are also urged by women's sexual interest to maintain an "attractive personality" (i.e. Unfortunately, men sometimes report that attempting to balance these notions does not result in satisfaction, happiness, or women's appreciation and respect.
The men that I speak with (and who commented on my last post) lament about being in a "no win situation" in modern dating.
If they follow what society tells them to do, they often end up "good guys" who are taken advantage of, mistreated, and disrespected.
In contrast, if they follow more "assertive" biological imperatives, they are labeled "jerks" and "players"—who may get sexual gratification, but not love or respect from what they would consider a "good woman".
Overall, they report that there is often little incentive for men to date and even less for them to consider long-term commitments.
In a previous article, I put forward the notion that individuals were not "afraid" to date—rather they simply did not have sufficient incentive to do so (see here).