In fact, I open the chapter on sex in my book, Is It You, Me, or Adult A. The truth is, ignorance about this critically important connection between ADHD and intimacy creates so much unnecessary hurt.
Yes, it's one of those areas, like sleep, where we often fail to connect the dots to ADHD symptoms. Again, it seems, we encounter these pesky ADHD-related challenges in self-regulation and summoning motivation.
Consider it a “filtering” problem within the nervous system.
Lovemaking is sometimes described as a dance that depends on following subtle back-and-forth cues.
Moreover, knowledge paves the way to realistic problem solving. She simply initiates very little in life and tends to respond to what's in front of her.”If you find a shirt label irritating, imagine how foreplay involving delicate areas might feel unnerving, if not downright irritating.
These two traits can generate challenges in getting the party started, paying attention to details, avoiding distractions (air-conditioning hum, scratchy sheets, dog barking, menacing thoughts of uncompleted chores) and maintaining interest through to, um, completion.“My wife is always willing to have sex with me and seems to always enjoy it,” says Alex. It's called sensory integration disorder (also tactile defensiveness).
In a blog post on Sex and ADHD at Jeff's ADD Mind, the author first considers it as the “problem with no name” and finally “the problem that carries a lot of shame.”These quotes speak to just a few of the ways that ADHD might affect sexual intimacy.
with this quote: When ADHD does create significant sexual problems, it usually falls into two categories: The ADHD partner initiates sex all the time or almost never.
Left with no other rational explanation for sexual difficulties, partners sometimes blame themselves—or each other.