Ethics of doctors dating patients

I really feel there is a mutual chemistry there, but am afraid to say or do anything about it.

I am trying to find a way to let him know I am open to a personal relationship after the doctor-patient relationship ends.

I find him very attractive and I am fairly certain he is spending considerably more time with me than his other patients. One need not invoke such a deep explanation for your response, which, as I see it, is simply the basic human tendency to like people who are kind and take the time to express genuine interest in others. Offhand, I cannot think of any surgeons I know who have captivating personalities. Men generally do not waste any time cozying up to beautiful women.

What does a doctor do when he is attracted to a patient? Another one of your friends opined that the surgeon is “just comfortable with” you and is using “the extra time to take a little break from the routine.” I burst out laughing when I read that explanation! I knew one who was the prototypical nice guy, but he disliked surgery so much that he quit practicing medicine and is now a bartender in Montana. Different specialties tend to attract medical students with different personalities, and the training they subsequently receive further molds and magnifies their innate behavior. Or, to remove any trace of ambiguity, he has the hots for you. Therefore, his delayed expression of interest is a bit puzzling, at least on the surface. Scratch that one—he's a surgeon and, as you noted, a genius. Those weren't million-to-one “it's a foregone conclusion” odds.

I found later that others who went to him had only a few seconds to a few minutes with him during appointments, and that he sent in his nurse or PA to do the dirty work.

At first I was not attracted to this surgeon, in fact, I was annoyed with him and tried to change doctors. At appointments, he spent a great deal of time with me, 20-30 minutes, and did all the dirty work like cleaning incisions, bandaging, etc.

A friend told me I am suffering from transference, but I don't think so. He would sit in my room and chat about non-medical things.

I also notice his voice gets very soft and higher pitched when he is up close.


Maybe I should just put this aside and assume if he is interested and available that he will find a time and a way to approach me? Your surgeon was initially aloof, brief, and arrogant—in other words, a typical surgeon. However, it takes a man less than a second to determine if a woman is attractive.Or should I give him a parting thank-you note when I am released, that suggests I am open to being friends after the doctor-patient relationship ends? Transference is the psychoanalytic process by which emotions originally associated with one person are unconsciously shifted to another person, especially to the analyst or, according to your overly analytical friend, the surgeon. Genuinely nice people tend to gravitate toward pediatrics or family practice, not surgery. Surely the surgeon realized that the first time he walked into your room.


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