Negotiate in advance the amount of socializing you’ll do as a couple on any given weekend, month, or year. That way, you don’t have to argue about it night after night.
In my book, I tell the story of a husband who wanted to host a dinner party every Friday night, and a wife who hated giving parties.
A first step toward achieving compromise is for each partner to grant that the other’s needs are legitimate—to recognize that this is not a case of stubbornness but rather of genuinely different temperaments.
Then the challenge is to accommodate each other’s needs.
One idea is for the extrovert to grant the introvert an hour of private time at the end of the day.
Are you an introvert dating or married to an extrovert? One extrovert I interviewed for my book, “QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” described her introverted husband as “the anchor of her world.” Extroverts report that introverts give them permission to explore their serious, introspective sides.
This enabled the wife to have more one-on-one conversations, instead of feeling compelled to “perform” in front of a larger group. How much to talk after a long day of work: At the end of the day, extroverts often come home longing for conversation, while introverts need to recharge alone.These differences can leave extroverts feeling abandoned, and introverts feeling pressured.