But now that I’ve left the church and am dating in the “real world,” has this set me back? I’m terrified of this new dating scene because everyone is filled with experience and knowledge that I lack. Will I send the man of my dreams running for the hills? The longer I wait, the more embarrassing it becomes.
I believe I was warped from the time I was a young child, and I am giving Walt Disney part of the blame!
Seriously, I was probably about eight years old and I’d dance around the house singing these lyrics from Haley Mills in ‘Summer Magic.’When I headed off to school in Provo, I was ready to date using my tips from Disney.
That changed quickly as I saw scores of women using these same strategies…primping hair and makeup for their early morning trip to the gym, taking that difficult business class with hopes of meeting a smart guy, enrolling in elementary education to show guys that they are nurturing to children.
But for now, I’m trying to figure out how to be me, the authentic me.
“You should totally tell her, man…’Cause I watched this movie called, Liar, Liar and the message was ‘Don’t lie’ …
The 40-year Old Virgin was a comedy because of the absurdity that anyone could possibly be 41 years old and a virgin to boot.Well, it’s not so funny when you’re getting close to that age and it’s actually your life.Finding a husband seemed to preoccupy everyone around me.I remember inviting my roommate to the ward Halloween activity, to which she responded, “Why would I go to that? I put my head in my books and did what I came to do…I got my degree. Later I moved on to the dating scene of a popular singles ward in the Bay Area…in many ways, it seemed to be the polar opposite of the Y.
The women of the ward were beautiful, smart, educated, building careers, and didn’t need the attention of a man to feel worthy. I was shocked to find out that I kept getting matched with the men from the ward. Were they worried that dating in the ward was too public? These guys were looking for women who shared their beliefs, who didn’t smoke or drink, who would be a great mother…but they couldn’t find that in the ward, where odds were 3:1 in their favor?
They in no way, shape, or form hid their authentic selves. I’ve tried a few online dating sites, and I never put a religious affiliation on my page…when asked, I write that I’m “spiritual, but not religious.” And even though I don’t like the taste of alcohol much, I mark that I’m a “social drinker.” I don’t want to scare men away when I haven’t even met them yet.