Here is a good article from Seekers Guidance that helps clarify everything one needs to know about it: The reality of Istikhara 2) DO have a “checklist.” It’s important to know what you’re looking for in a partner and to take the extra time to put your thoughts down.
Not only does the list give you tangible things to focus on, but it can also reveal whether or not you have your priorities down.
The list below is a helpful guide for anyone who is thinking about marriage and wants to prepare in advance.
It’ll help prepare you for what to expect, what to do and what not do to before you begin your quest for “Mr or Ms.
Right” and once you start meeting potential prospects, insh Allah! There’s an old Arab proverb that says, “Man proposes, God disposes.” Before actively working on oneself and pursuing marriage through worldly means, one has to turn to Allah (swt) and make the intention for marriage.
Next, one should make the Duah of Istikhara and put their trust in Allah’s divine decree, especially when considering a particular candidate.
If you notice, for example, that most of your “requirements” are superficial in nature then you may scale back some things and put focus on more important matters like character, family values, and future goals.
Additionally, a written checklist can also help your friends and family who are actively on the look-out for you to better screen potential candidates.
3) DON’T dismiss someone if they don’t meet all of your requirements.
Sometimes we think we know what we want but it may take meeting someone we wouldn’t normally consider to open our eyes to other possibilities.