It came as no surprise to me, either, that I met The One while I was involved with Charles.
Despite the doom-mongering from friends and family about dating a married man, I knew I was more open to falling in love than I had ever been.
You will be attracted to people outside your relationship Having an open relationship has never been my goal, but I’m not going to bury my head in romantic sand.
The truth is that staying monogamous is a challenge.
I can’t count the number of times I heard “You’re wasting your time” or “You’ll never meet anyone else.” But buoyed by the confidence and happiness that comes from a healthy relationship, I was more able to recognize and accept the right guy when he came along.
And my experiences on the periphery of non-monogamy taught me a lot about relationships, lessons I’m applying in my new, monogamous relationship.1.
“When they leave me, it’s usually for The One,” my lover, Charles, said.
Trust is more than just monogamy Trust is knowing someone will come back, not believing they will never leave.Small children who regularly see their parents going out and returning are more secure than those who aren’t used to being left alone.It must be, or there wouldn’t be so much infidelity.Acknowledging this inevitability means my boyfriend and I can deal with it from within our relationship instead of pretending we’ll only ever have eyes (and maybe hands and lips and everything else) for each other.2.
Every time someone chooses you, it affirms your relationship – even more so if they have a choice to be with someone else.
If your partner is flirting with someone else but comes home with you, they do so in freedom.