Want to know the four words that are sabotaging your chances of online dating success? The catch is that we love the idea of coffee dates.They’re not “I love to laugh” or “I feel no chemistry.” They are “Want to grab coffee? If you’re new to online dating and haven’t quite gotten over the awkwardness of meeting strangers, the coffee date feels like a safe commitment. “We can meet at that Coffee Bean off the freeway on my way home from work.” “Why not? “I’ll fit it in between my yoga class and the farmer’s market on Saturday.” What could be easier than setting up a coffee date? But how often do you hear about the coffee date as the launching pad for a great romance – unless the couple randomly met at Starbucks while accidentally picking up each other’s pumpkin patch latte and then went on a real date somewhere else? “I have experienced approximately 750 coffee dates. usually resulting in the Three D’s: disappointment, depression and despair.” Okay, that’s a bit dramatic.Also, the dates usually never last more than an hour, so there’s never a chance for what I call the “shift” to occur.
If you’re suggesting a coffee date, you’re approaching the meeting from a place of caution and convenience rather than unabashed confidence that you’re going to hit it off so well you’ll probably be spending New Year’s Eve together.
I wonder if I could like him.” That’s also the time when you drop the “Do you have brothers or sisters?
They’re also an easy way to quickly meet a lot of people, but they don’t exactly make you feel special, if you think you’re the third person to sit across from your date’s “sweet little table in the corner” that afternoon.
Before you know it, you’ve racked up a dozen coffee dates that consist of quick chats but little connection. Few people feel sexy charged up on caffeine in an over-conditioned Starbucks.
It’s also easy to begrudgingly accept a coffee date with someone you’re not that excited about meeting. “It’s just coffee.” Then you won’t feel guilty crossing the person off your list.
Coffee dates are an invention designed to increase everyone’s comfort level.