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Meanwhile, Luke's solo date went from shallow to deep, even if his intonation didn't, but it's super bizarre that he even seems to kiss in slow motion.

And James Taylor is a beast playing football with his eye gash.


If you look back at my predictions prior to episode two, you'll see that everyone in my "discard" pile is gone, while the "potential" category -- unicorn-riding war veteran Luke, All-4-Wells and second James James Taylor -- is alive and well with 100% accuracy.

Meaty John Krasinksi Derek, two-puns-and-a-stache snowflake Chase and Alex "I know a lot about being a real man" the Marine remain from "unknowns," while Jordan Rodgers and creepy ex-swimmer Robby are repping the "red flags" and repping well. You can trust me," or, "I love you," on the first date, breaststroke your way to safety.

The biggest surprise for me was that Chase, who would seem to be gaining steam with his thoughtful little setups (snowstorm and bouncy ball costumes), is in the high school clique with Alex (and apparently Jordan and Robby) that has chosen to freak out like schoolgirls over the use of the word "reassure" and to bully Derek.

With Pennsylvania and Uruguay in the rear-view mirror, it's off to Buenos Aires to continue this journey.

It's as if he said, "If there were no cameras, I would totally commit a felony." Perhaps the show has been around so long that producers pondered giving on-camera homicide a chance.

And then we shall reward his psychopathy with a trip to paradise!


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