And frankly, you shouldn't be with a guy like that.
For questions on relationships, sex, or anything else, email Gigi at Ask [email protected] I'm kind of kinky in bed, but also in a new relationship. Women spend a lot of time either conforming or desperately fighting off societal pressure to be "good girls." We get a lot of conflicting information.
It's really about the "why." Why would he feel uncomfortable? Partnerships are about making everyone comfortable and compromising, sexually or otherwise.
I get your apprehension in bringing up touchy subjects with someone new. What is NOT OK is your boyfriend daring to think less of you (if he actually does). If this guy actually thinks you're a "whore" for liking kinky sex, that says a lot more about him and his personal confidence than it does about you.
So talk it out and get some clarity on his feelings.
I feel like he likes it, but then is a little shy after. A little talk about sex isn't going to scare a choice partner off. This is way better than psyching yourself out and possibly creating problems where there are none. I just want to have a really honest and open conversation because I care about our relationship and your feelings are important to me." ASK him if the things you're trying are "too much." It's OK if they are!And if your new boo thang is uncomfortable with some of the things you want to do in bed, he should be able to talk to you about that. Am I just projecting my personal insecurities onto my boyfriend? When you're cuddling or taking a walk just say, "Hey babe. Not every person is going to love some casual BDSM (or whatever it is you're into).