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The fact that I’m genuinely invested in the happiness of two morally questionable strangers is a topic we can all explore together at a later date. That unsavory possibility explains why I went momentarily numb a few weeks ago when my eye doctor informed that I shouldn’t be wearing contacts for more than twelve hours per day.

But The Millionaire Matchmaker isn’t all fun and games.

No sooner did it premiere than I was made to understand that I was handling this courtship business all wrong.

Mattie Kahn It’s 9pm on a Saturday night and Patti Stanger would like me to change. Finally, the saint helping me whipped out a pair she called “the Deacon.” They were thick-framed and heavy and reminded me of Jenna Lyons. I want to tell Patti that she’s too entertaining to be such a goddamn misogynist.I know this to be true not because the Millionaire Matchmaker herself stands before me (if only! For the uninitiated: Patti Stanger is a third-generation matchmaker. Deferring to medical authority, I brought a great friend to Oliver Peoples to face my fear of four eyes. “I want them to be invisible,” I commanded the helpful saleswoman. I want to explain that there is a breed of men outside Los Angeles who will tolerate overalls and ambitious careers and advanced degrees for the women they love. Patti Stanger definitely does not read the Man Repeller.


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