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Empower yourself with knowledge Understand what bullying is so that when it starts you can stay in control and nip it in the bud. Start by digesting this page, then follow the links.Recognise it early and keep records Learn to recognise the early signs and keep a detailed diary.The golden rule is, DO NOT RESPOND and DO NOT ENGAGE. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE the distress and the destructive effect that constant bullying and harassment can have on the recipient and their family.Bullying in all its forms invades your boundaries, is intrusive and violational and is thus a form of rape - emotional rape and psychological rape - especially when this goes on for months, or even years. They provide bullies with the perfect means of taunting their target with little fear of being caught. Many pay-as-you-go mobile phones can be bought over the counter and do not require proof of identity, nor is any record kept of the new owner.Calls made from these types of mobile phone are difficult to trace. Never ignore or underestimate the threat NEVER ignore threats, either verbal or by phone or via text message.Stay in control This is a game - a nasty game, but a game.Learn the rules of the game: it's about power and control.

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Print off the messages if you are able, otherwise make a careful copy of every one (including formats, abbreviations, spelling mistakes etc), the date, time, the caller-ID if available, or the reason for the caller-ID being unavailable (eg "withheld", "unavailable", etc) - even this can prove useful.

It may be distressing to make a copy of each message, so get the support of a trusted friend or close family member.

But don't respond in the way the bully wants you to.

When people advise you to "just ignore it", what they really mean is "do not respond to the taunts and provocation, do not engage or communicate with the bully, but instead take careful notes of what is being done to you, who is doing it and how, and record all of this in a journal so you can develop a strategy for dealing with it".

Tell yourself repeatedly that the threats, insults, accusations, allegations, criticisms etc have NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with you - they are a device for taunting, a fabrication, a deception, but most of all, a projection of the bully's own weaknesses, shortcomings, and failings.

Every nasty word is an admission by the bully about themselves. Each time you receive a message, train yourself to NOT think "what have I done now?

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