He forced his adorable granddaughter to pick my pocket of several hundred dollars, and then left me holding my laptop in the air begging, “Please sir, may I have some more (matches)? Like the Hindenburg explosion, only with more fire and fewer survivors. Utterly demoralized, I put a Krazee Straw into a bottle of wine and phoned one of my younger, still-dating friends for advice. I asked if she’d eaten lead paint chips as a child.
” Knowing that e Harmony didn’t have enough users in my area to yield decent prospects, I decided to go in another direction. You know when you drop a new puppy into a room filled with other dogs, and they all rush up to sniff her? But after some basic instruction on the fine art of swiping right (and 2/3 of a bottle of rose), joining Tinder felt like a good idea. Join me next week when we discuss, how I found love on Tinder (spoiler alert! Share your bad online dating experiences in the comments.
As a teenager, my nose was too firmly planted in a book (or in the air, depending on who you ask) to be googly-eyed about boys.
As an adult, the last thing I wanted to do at the end of a long work day was sit in a darkened bar and make small talk with a perspective suitor.
I was perpetually single, but it didn’t really affect my social life.
I found my job, my friends, and my extracurricular interests wholly satisfying. C., solo time was easy to fill–a stroll through a museum here, a movie at the Landmark there.
And every morning, the service failed to find even one college-educated man, aged 28 to 37, who was taller than I and a non-smoker.
‘X is a great match just outside of your settings’ means ‘X is 43-years-old, 5’2″ tall, and lists vaping among his hobbies.’ No, , that was one of my actual “matches.” Over time, I realized that the kindly-looking old man from the e Harmony TV commercials was a modern day Fagan. ” (For the record, I’ve never been to Canada, and I met that guy one time after my roommate puked in his car.) It took me ten minutes to realize that for men, Match is a numbers game. Sifting through the rough to find the diamonds felt like a sisyphean task.
Then, I relocated to a city where free time is more plentiful, everyone in my age cohort is married, and cultural diversions are nearly non-existent. And if it’s possible–given the District’s oft-discussed, much maligned male-to-female ratio–the dating pool seemed shallower.
After a decade as a dedicated non-dater, the thought of diving back in felt like someone wanted to hand me a jar of fissile nuclear materials.