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I really wish I wasnt this way, but I just cant get myself motivated to do anything.

I really think ive been this way my whole life, just when I was younger I was so obsessed with pleasing people that it appeared that I had motivation.

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So, for my whole life up until the end of high school I was obsessed with pleasing people.

So after graduating high school my life philosophy totally changed.

Today I dont want to do anything, I have no desire for money, dont care about posessions, dont care about work or school, dont care if im around people or alone.

Everything I did was to make somebody proud of me, weather it being my parents, friends, teachers, strangers.

I remember once when I was like 16, I saw this guy get hit by a car when he was on his bike. I didnt do it just to help him though, the whole time I was thinking "All these people watching are gonna think im awsome".

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