"There are five girls to one guy." Great.) And in light of a Tinder date I had scheduled about 10 minutes prior to our call, I asked her, judging from talking to me for about 30 minutes, what she thought I should work on. Then I confess that after doing a little digging (okay, a lot of digging with the help of a friend), I'm worried my date is a tad too short."Okay, how tall are you? Your number one job is you need to stop judging."Another thing I needed to do? So instead of my weekly mani/pedi/10-minute chair message, I listened to lectures from Patti, hypnotherapist Steve G. I also, with a healthy dose of skepticism, listened to a series of subliminal recordings purported to be embedded with "powerful suggestions that will reprogram your subconscious." All I heard was music.Patti is a huge proponent of online dating ("If you are single and haven't tried online dating, you're the weird one" she tells me) so I proudly divulged my upcoming Tinder date night. " she asked me in a rather accusatory manner."Five foot three," I responded. "Put my dick away." Patti tells me I give off too much "masculine energy." I like to be in control, do all the planning (making the dinner reservations included), and anticipate what's next rather than let someone surprise me. I learned that there are three main reasons people typically don't find love:• Anxiety: Will I ever meet anyone? • Guilt and blame: It's my fault he broke up with me/I feel awful I broke up with him.• Confusion: What am I looking for? As per the experts' advice, I take an inventory of my past relationships to see the patterns that emerge.I, "showing my dick," talk a lot about my job early on—how busy I am! How could I blame them for backing out when I hadn't entered into it honestly myself?The most important thing I learn is that no matter how painful the past may be, it's essential that we change the story of it in our head—that we forgive, apologize, and love.
And instead of crawling back to him, I decided to crawl towards Patti and really ask: WWPD. I asked her about getting back out after feeling the shell shock of a breakup.
I asked her about dating in New York ("The odds are against you," she warned me. (I would date Tom Cruise if he were Jewish, but I see her point.) "You're 27, you don't know shit about dating. She directs me to a website, Attracting ASoulmate.com, where for , you get over three hours of Patti-approved virtual life coaching to help you find love. Related: Why Mini Heartbreaks Hurt So Good I listened to powerful 20-minute lectures from these experts about how to fix the problems within yourself that are causing you to make bad decisions as well as tips on how you can more actively make good ones.