Depending on the level of heartbreak endured on the breakup scale, this pizza-is-eternal perspective can go on to inform one's future dating decisions.
If and when you find yourself on the precipice of yet another relationship, the rubble of the former may gather to build sky-high emotional walls around you. You channel your fear of getting hurt into a sheen of disinterest so subtle it's nearly undetectable to the untrained eye; if anything, you simply come off as "chill." You say "Okay, that's fine" instead of "I'm mad at you, and I want to go home." You remain comfortably detached, always keeping yourself at a safe, emotional arm's length. Today, many of us walk through life donning this emotional suit of armor—one that grows in thickness with every dating app downloaded.
While the relational risks of playing it cool are obvious, less common are the personal growth opportunities you forego when opting to build an emotional wall.
Speaking of never double-texting, abiding by a list of socially constructed dating rules runs you the risk of getting caught up in "the game" rather than making meaningful connections with others.
Often, this desire to remaining detached and "above" your own feelings can outweigh the desire to get to know the other person; keeping your pride intact becomes a badge of honor, while feelings take a backseat.
But in the words of social worker and TED Talk speaker Brené Brown, "vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change." Without it, you cannot hope to form connections with others, open yourself up to a world of belonging, or truly let anyone get to know the real you.
Avoiding vulnerability in an effort to ward off emotional hardship will only saddle you with greater personal challenges in the end.
Whether this behavior is a residual side effect of dating in college or a visceral reaction to too much Tinder remains to be seen, but one thing's for sure—it doesn't lead to a healthy relationship.Opening yourself up to a relationship requires leaning in to everyone's least favorite emotion: vulnerability.