There are few things more devastating to a spouse than the betrayal of infidelity, and we can only imagine how intensified that devastation becomes when made public. It is difficult to speculate as to why married men visit prostitutes, because the reasons are so varied.
However, there is a psychological difference between paid sex and other types of infidelity. A man may, of course, simply be "bored" and consider an emotionless business deal not really cheating.
The great sex researcher Helen Kaplan once wrote of a powerful man whose marriage ended when his wife, whom he loved very much, found out that he was seeing a dominatrix. Kaplan said, the man's "requirements" were minimal, but he was afraid his wife would abandon him if he even suggested she do what the dominatrix did.
There also are issues of total control, and the fact that there is little chance of ever being hurt or embarrassed, even if unable to perform.
Statistics tell us that about 20 percent of married men are unfaithful to their spouses.
That was even the case in the survey we did for our book, "He's Just Not Up for It Anymore.
Needless to say, we can only speculate on what the story is in the (N. And clearly, there are even surprises there.) But you have to wonder why someone with so much to lose would participate in such high-risk behavior that could be (and in this case was) found out.
Is it possible that someone in that position wants to be unconsciously discovered?
Or, he may desire certain things that he is embarrassed to ask his wife to participate in.
Has so much guilt seeped into his psyche that he purposely leaves a trail of easily-followed clues? Did he think of himself as omnipotent, that is, too smart to be caught? One other possibility, although improbable, is that some couples may have a private deal.
Before telephones and the advent of paid phone sex (or the online equivalent), visiting a prostitute was the only way for a person to be sexual with anonymity (assuming this wasn't a public figure) and without the risk of emotional complication.
Recent studies show that certain brain chemicals are released after partnered but not solitary sex, and one might speculate this plays a part as to why a man who visits a prostitute prefers it to online masturbatory fantasy, even if it does put him at risk of losing things very important to him.
When Men Stop Having Sex and What You Can Do About It." The fact that these men weren't sexual with their wives didn't cause them to cheat more, or less, than the average.
However, only a small portion men use "escort" services or prostitutes, and even that can vary from a one time lapse to an ongoing habit. (Indeed, one thing we've learned over the years is that the only people who maybe know what's going on within a marriage is the married couple themselves.