Trevor, a young, self-identified "freaky queer video/net artist," found this request laughable and troublingly out-of-touch.
"They didn't even understand that any time you comment on anything on a site you have to usually create a username, or any of the endless crap you have to create accounts for online," he said.
Ironically, he found out his parole conditions online.
(Image: Backlit Keyboard via Shutterstock) "Is my Furby a computer?
The police stopped him at the airport after child-porn tracking software led them to a router that he used while house-sitting, leaving Trevor baffled.
He knew the risks of providing outdated or false internet aliases, but thought that this was preferable to leading the police to real information they could misconstrue and use against him.
As a registered sex offender, Trevor must abide by a bewildering array of rules, regulations and restrictions.
He was introduced to the maze upon parole: He wasn't supposed to use a computer or the internet, but his parole officer didn't initially inform him of these constraints.
" With five months in jail and eight months of parole behind him, and four years of probation to go, Trevor finds himself contemplating the artificial intelligence of a Furby, and its threat to his future.
Later, during a mandatory polygraph test, a police officer slid a pen and paper toward Trevor, demanding that he write down every username and online alias he has ever had.Trevor also never saw his laptop again, which, as he found out, survived with only a corrupted hard drive and destroyed metadata.