Full disclosure: I do some of what you do (see romancelanguage.org).
Anyway, first I just wanted to say that you do excellent work, and that your perspective is very helpful (mine is that of a widowed 50ish woman — and though of course there are similarities across the dating world, different demographics are, well … Quoting from you: “Online dating has leveled the playing field for guys to an unhealthy point.
In fact, most women under the age of 35 don’t quite appreciate how good they have it.
My not-so-secret method for giving dating advice to men and women? I’d ask the women to consider being in the man’s position – with the presumption that she’s probably already been in it, without having realized it.
It’s easy to blame guys for being non-committal shoppers who are always looking for the next-best thing; it’s a lot harder to come to terms with the fact that, as a woman (especially if you’re under the age of 35), you’ve likely done the same thing.
In the past, we ‘d get a phone number at a bar and it would be the highlight of our week.
However, this doesn ‘t mean these guys are players or slimeballs or just out for sex.
It just means they have too many options and are always trying to trade up.
I would love to read an expansion of this, specifically advice to women in the face of it.
One way to go is of course to say bye bye baby to the guy who doesn ‘t have the sense to stop shopping in the face of your fabulousness.
I ‘m not saying it ‘s a good thing, but it ‘s not a crime.
Plenty of nice men are dazzled with the array of beauty on dating sites and feel that they should just keep shopping.”Very, very well said and very true.