Strong leaders surround themselves with strong people, not with weak ones.
Rather than finding the strengths of others threatening, they celebrate them and leverage them.
In Song of Solomon 8:8–9 we hear a family’s hope that their young sister will grow into a woman of strength and dignity. I’m amazed and saddened at how often I hear young single guys say of bright, gifted single women, “Wow, she’s so strong I don’t think I could lead her.” At which point, too many bright, gifted single women begin to consider ways to “tone themselves down” or “soften themselves a bit.” Raise a strong daughter, even if—no, especially if it means potential suitors question whether they can “lead her,” whatever that means to them.Can you guess what metaphor they use to describe that kind of woman? Their sister assures them in verse 10 that she is indeed a wall, complete with towers. You’ve just identified those suitors as ineligible, without so much as an application process.Her statement indicates assurance that she is not only strong, but also able to defend herself against any unworthy suitors. Here’s the problem with shotgun jokes and applications posted on the fridge: to anyone paying attention, they announce that you fully expect your daughter to have poor judgment. And don’t be shocked if she meets your expectation. Leadership is not about the strong looking for weaker people to lead.You might want to worry less about terrorizing or retro-fitting prospective suitors and worry more about preparing your daughter to choose wisely. Instead of intimidating all your daughter’s potential suitors, raise a daughter who intimidates them just fine on her own. It’s about the humble looking for those whose strengths offset their weaknesses and complement their strengths.
The unsuitable suitor finds nothing more terrifying than a woman who knows her worth to God and to her family.
Those are the bricks that build the wall that withstands the advances of Slouchy-Pants, whether you ever show up with your Winchester locked and loaded or not.